social dance floor etiquette

How to Conduct yourself at a "Social Dance" to avoid Rude and Impolite Behavior!

These are popular Tips that you can use to conduct your behavior at a "Social Dance" to avoid Rude, Disrespectful or Inconsiderate actions. They are designed to help Build the Community and Keep it thriving. Unlike a "Code of Conduct" or "Rules of Conduct" breaking these won't get you thrown out of a Dance, but "NO ONE" Dances with someone they consider rude, or displays an unwelcoming attitude and you might find yourself being Exclude from potential dance partners. Or worse, you're community won't grow because people don't feel welcomed in it. These Tips are to help, not hurt!

These Tips are Based on three assumptions

You are at the Dance for the Purpose of Dancing
You are there because you "Like" to Dance
You "want" to Dance with a Partner

Ask a person to dance and respond to invites using "Class and Politeness"

When asking someone to dance, walk up to your potential partner, extend your hand and say "Would you like to dance", "Care to Dance?", or even "May I have this Dance" and allow them a chance to give a response.
When responding say "Yes!" , or "I would love too!", or "Certainly!" and take the offered hand. Sometimes taking the offered hand with a smile is good enough for most casual encounters.
When people are familiar with their potential partner they may extend a hand in "Silence" or Nod to the other from across the dance floor , but typically some form of verbal communication is most desired to avoid confusion among others.

Avoid giving people odd, ugly, or confusing looks, these may be considered rude gestures, even if they are followed by a "Yes" response
DO NOT Under any circumstance, Simply Grab someone by the hand and drag them onto the Dance Floor, even if its a close friend.

"Social Dances" are designed by their host to be "Communal"

Ask anyone and everyone if possible, to Dance! At a Social Dance, it is totally acceptable to ask someone's girlfriend, husband, wife, or boyfriend, partner, or significant-other to dance.

Remember, it's a Social Dance. Not a night club, or bar, or singles hang-out, or an Exclusive or "Couples Only" event. People are their to have fun and Dance. Meeting others and developing friendships are great benefits as well.

It's also Socially acceptable for girls to ask the guys to dance. Traditional roles tend to apply for most Dancing folks, so more often than not it's the guys asking the girls, but bending these roles is perfectly fine.

Dancing takes priority over Talking or Engaging in Conversations

At a Social Dance, it's perfectly acceptable to ask a person in conversation for a Dance. Conversations happen often amongst guest, just remember, a person's primary reason for being at a Dance is to Dance.

Just say "Pardon the interruption, But would you like to Dance?"

Something to remember about the Social Dance Floor and Conversations. At normal social gatherings, interrupting conversation may be rude. On the Social Dance Floor, however, keeping a person who is attempting to Dance, be asked to dance, or looking to ask someone to dance from doing so is detracting.

A few things to remember

The closer you are to the Dance Floor, the more your desire to Dance. People standing or sitting near the edge of the Dance Floor will strike up conversations all the time while scoping or waiting for potential partners. Just understand, as soon as someone ask the asking person takes precedence.
If you desire to have an uninterrupted conversation, or a close intimate conversation, the most acceptable places for this to happen is as far away from the dance floor as possible. Typically, near the refreshments, sitting foyers, lounges, or behind obstacles such as counters, tables, or even behind other dancers, will allow you to have your conversation without fear of being interrupted.
If the Dance Floor is small, or no place for uninterrupted conversation exists, please use one of the following responses "I'm sitting this one out!", Or "Ask me again later!", or even better "Can I come get you later?".

If you must Decline a Dance, do so "Constructively" to keep the Community welcoming to others.

When declining a Dance a simple "No Thank you!" is all that's necessary. If a "No Thank You!" is given after you ask someone to dance, a simple "No Problem!" will suffice. Just move on to someone else not Dancing. Assuming no shortage of attendance, there will ALWAYS be someone waiting to be asked. One person's "Decline" is another person's opportunity!

Help the Community by presenting a "Fair Reason" for the declined invitation.

We should remember to respect a person's right to reject a dance, if they so desire, without need of farther explanation.

However it is in better taste to only reject a dance with a fair reason. Why give a reason for a rejection? Without people, a Community does not exists, the more welcomed people feel within it, the more likely they are to come back. Giving a reason allows a rejection of a Dance, but, not leave the person asking feeling "Dejected" , and keeps them asking others who DO desire to Dance. We especially want "New Comers" to feel encouraged to participate. The less declining that happens, the more encouraged people are to brave actually asking. A person can Build up enough immunity through continued acceptance, and being declined won't wear participants down.

And always remember, Callousness and Abrasiveness, no matter how polite, is tainting.

Dance Floor Etiquette Fallacies and Flops

Often we don't mean to be rude, or to offend, but accidental "offences" occur, please be aware of the following behaviors on the Social Dance Floor.

If you tell a person you're sitting out a Song, or your resting, it's assumed you're telling the truth, and not just blowing a person off or attempting to be "Clever" and sitting out the entire Song. If you reject for this reason but accept a dance with someone else during the exact same song at the same time, it becomes obvious you lied.
At a Social Dance, the dance is typically given to the person who asked first. Declining an invitation to Dance from one person and immediately accepting an invitation from someone else is dejecting and will make your Dance Community appear more "Exclusive" and not "Communal".
Openly criticizing another person's dancing, correcting someone, or giving out unwanted advise is frowned upon. If Criticism or advise is not asked for, it's generally best to avoid it. For new Dancers, their desire is to learn as much as possible to not hinder their partner, or to find ways to help make the Dance more enjoyable for their partner, so It is perfectly fine to ask for tips, advise, or information from the more experienced dancers.,
Constant correction and criticism could be very counter productive to a person's development. If a person feels that they are just too insufficient to keep up, they tend to stop coming to dances from pure lack of motivation, then they will NEVER get better.
New Dancers, do not feel you "must" impress your more experienced partner, and at the same time, Experienced Dancers, do not attempt moves that may overwhelm a New Comer. For New Dancers just learning, dancing with a more experienced partner is very intimidating.
Attempting to "Show Boat", yourself, by out doing your partner for the hopes of Show Casing your skills for other potential dance partners is frowned upon. If your partner starts feeling like they are being out shined that just gives them more reason to avoid the scene. If New Comers feel like your Dance Community is only for the "Elite", they will feel unwelcomed.
Aerials, Lifts, and Air Steps are generally frowned upon when the Dance Floor shared, especially when its full.
Avoid Colliding with other Dancers as much as possible, but when collisions do happen, a simple apology is respectful. Some Dances like West Coast Swing, Waltz, Tango, or Foxtrot utilize what's called "The Line of Dance", for this purpose of avoiding collisions, and sharing the space. Just remember you share the dance floor with others. Understand collisions do happen, regardless of skill level, a simple apology is appreciated.
When performing Dips, practice them properly and correctly BEFORE you use them on a partner. No one likes being dropped on the floor.

Positive Classie Behavior on the Social Dance Floor

Have a Positive Impact at the Dance! Gain some admiration and respect of others on the Social Dance Floor!

Do feel free to ask for tips and ask others to share their moves with you. Move exchanges are cool!
Do give legitimate complements to your partners when ever possible. If you liked a particular move your lead did, or you notice strong things about your follows connection or styling, feel free to share that. Most love it when people say good admiring things about their Dancing!
If you had to decline a Dance from someone, Do find them later and offer a follow up! This is in VERY good Taste. Saying things like "Sorry I had to turn down your invite earlier, but Now's a good time if you would still like to Dance", or "Sorry, I was busy earlier, but I'm free now!", or "Sorry for saying no earlier, but we can Dance now if you want!"
Do Keep your promises! If you said you will dance with someone later, do dance with them later! A bit of effort to do this, but it's always heart warming when you do. It shows you actually care that you were asked in the first place, and are very thoughtful of other people's feelings in your dance scene.
Decline with reasons. such as , "I'm tired, but let's dance later!", "I must decline right now, BUT do ask me again later!", "I don't like this particular kind of Dance Style, but Can we Wait for another song or do a different type of Dance?"
Do Dance with New Comers and New Dancers. They help keep your scene alive! Strive to Dance and communicate in a manner that is suitable for your lesser experienced partner.
Do exercise patience with New Dancers! The more encouraged they feel to return, the more motivate they will be to get better!

New Comers do NOT be afraid of or avoid your more experienced counter-parts!

Experienced Dancers will Gladly and Happily Dance with those of less experience and who are New! They will go out of their way, JUST to make sure Newbies have just as much fun as everyone else!

Fact of the matter is, New Comers are the life blood of any Dance Scene, Group, Club, or even Studio. We NEED New Comers to keep our scenes alive. Any Scene worth while will have experienced Dancers eager to Dance with Beginners!

Event Host and Organizers, especially, will bend over backwards to make sure you come back again! Whether it's including you in everything they do, OR leaving you alone and letting you creep in slowly at your own pace! It's fine! They just want you to desire to come back!

But, most importantly, if you desire to get better, you MUST Dance with those who know exactly what they are doing! You will notice an experienced dancer knows what to do to calibrate their abilities with yours!

Do practice good Hygiene when attending Social Dances.

When you dance, you will get hot, and you will sweat. People are allowing you into their personal space. Deodorant is appreciated.

Understand, you're dancing, expect you and your partner to get a little sweaty. But too much can make a dance very uncomfortable and the "Icky" feeling can take away from the joy of the dance.

Some Very Helpful Tips for hardcore dancers like myself who want to dance as much as possible with as many people as possible, with very little sitting down.

Have a Towel or 2
Under Shirts and Extra Shirts are life Savers
A Dance Bag can help carry on hand body odor helpers. Tooth Brush, Tooth paste, Mouth wash, deodorant, Water Bottle, etc..
Hand fans are cool

The right to police the Dance Floor belongs to your Event Host.

Speak with your Event Hosts and Organizers about Risky or Unsettling behavior from other Dancers.

As a Guest ,you are NOT the Dance Floor police, but they are, and they should be.

Leave it to the Host and Organizers of the Dance to handle the troubling behavior on the Social Dance Floor. They want people to feel welcomed and comfortable at their dances, so taking it upon yourself to police others can be very rude to the Host and Organizers. As the ones doing all the hard work putting on these events and building the community so you can enjoy it, they have every right to handle discrepancies, and part of their responsibility is to be those adjudicators.

When other patrons are worrying you with their behavior, do speak with the host and allow them the chance to resolve the matter at hand. If it appears they are not listening to you, rest assured, when people stop attending their dances, and the issues continue, and their scene declines, they'll get the message somethings up.